When I look back at this time.in my life in my Seventies, in my Eighties, I want to know that I gave it all I got. That I gave myself a shot. I want to see this moment anticipating having perspective on it later. I’m so scared, because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. But for the first time in my life I’m getting palpitations and nausea from anxiety, and I’m PRAYING that I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing.